BOOSTING SELF-ESTEEM
Some individuals are very sensitive to criticism; tend to have problems accepting praise or flattery; have very little confidence in their abilities; often feel awkward in social situations; and tend to be highly critical of others. Such individuals are suffering from what Psychologists call inferiority complex.
Inferiority complex
is fairly common and dominated by low self esteem. Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall evaluation of his self-worth as a person; as well as his global feeling of adequacy or inadequacy in various aspects of life. Individuals with low self esteem hold strong negative views about themselves . People with very low self esteem tend to develop more emotional and behavioural problems than others, set low goals for themselves , become socially invisible, and court rejection by putting down others. Low self-esteem is related to low self-confidence which is a correlate of personal failure.
You can build higher self-esteem. The first thing you must realize is that you have the power to change your beliefs about yourself, and that you can control your self-,image. Your self-image resides in your mind and is a product of your thinking. While you accept positive comments about you by others, reject and ignore any negative feedback . You sre the final authority on your self-image.
Secondly, don’t let others set your goals.
A common trap that many people fall into is letting others set the standards by which they evaluate themselves. Other people are constantly telling you that you should do this or ought not to do that, thereby turning you into a living marionette. Many relationships, careers and destinies have been ruined from such external influences. Ask yourself : do such external suggestions represent ideals that you value ? Take 100% responsibility for your goals and aspirations.
Thirdly, eschew unrealistic goals.
Many people get into the habit of demanding too much of themselves. They always want to perform at their best which is obviously impossible. Such mental attitude is usually a spin-off of perverted social comparison process by comparing oneself with the best rather than against similar others. For instance, a lady comparing her look with that of famous models or a man comparing her finances with the wealthiest in society. Such unrealistic goals condemn people to failure and inevitably undermine self-esteem.
Fourthly, avoid negative self-talk.
People with low self esteem tend to engage in counterproductive mode of thinking. For instance, when they succeed they may attribute such success to luck; and when they fail, they may condemn themselves. Quite to the contrary, you should take credit for your success and consider that your failure may not be 100% your fault. STOP thinking irrationally and drawing unwarranted negative conclusions about yourself.
Emphasize your strengths.
People with low self esteem often derive little or no satisfaction from their accomplishments and virtues . They dismiss compliments as foolish and insincere. They undermine their good qualities while talking constantly about their defeats and failures. However, the fact is that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It is crucial that you identify your strengths and appreciate them while you acknowledge the personal shortcomings that you are powerless to change and work on those that are changeable.. Work to improve yourself.
Learn to approach others with a positive outcome.
People with low self-esteem often try to cut others down to their size through constant criticism. It is imaginable that this fault-finding and negative approach to interpersonal transactions will result in tension, antagonism and rejection which lower self-esteem further. There is probably nothing that enhances self-esteem more than acceptance and genuine affection from others. Therefore, approaching people with positive supportive outlook promotes rewarding interaction and acceptance and boosts self-esteem.
27 Comments
Thanks for the motivation. God bless you.
Good content. Well done
This topic should be taught in schools. Students will need it while in school and when they live to face the world. Thank you
Interesting and motivational.
I have actually lost more opportunities in life because of my lack of self esteem and confidence , but now am a change person and live life like I should.
Confidence goes with self esteem and has nothing to do with what you look like. If you’re obsess over that, you’ll end up being disappointed in yourself all the time. Instead, high self-esteem comes from how you feel in any moment. So walk into a room acting like you’re in charge, and spend your energy on making the people around you happy.
Nice post
As I read through this post, I felt I should share this sayings from Mariam Williamson. Over time it has really inspired me. I actually have it laminated and placed on the wall of my room.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I think once one learn to love one’s self and appreciate oneself as a unique creature created by the Supreme God of all, then non-self esteem will be a thing of the past.
I had to grow to love my body. I did not have a good self-image at first. Finally it occurred to me, I’m either going to love me or hate me. And I chose to love myself. Then everything kind of sprung from there. Things that I thought weren’t attractive became sexy. Confidence makes you sexy
True talk. Comparing yourself with other people’s achievement is an easy part to sudden demise
Educative post. Thanks.
If we relate this post to the effective parenting poats , we will discovery that most parents are the cause of low self esteem in their children. For example a parents who has a domineering or authoritative spirit over everything the child does, gives no room for the child’s self exploration, discovery and decision making. Such child becomes timid and cannot make decisions on his own. Such child will never have any confidence in himself to make any sole decision, not to talk of having self esteem. This is my take on this.
@Adua, You summed it up all well.
@I 100% agree with you.
Good one. You are on point.
Highly motivational. Nice
Nice post
Highly motivational
Nice one. Thanks.
For instance, a lady comparing her look with that of famous models or a man comparing her finances with the wealthiest in society…That is covetousness
Nice motivation. Thanks
I believe we all have our individual lives to live. A life we need to design for our lives. Not trying to be other people who will do not even know how they got to the top of the ladder as it may seems to us.
successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let this feelings stop them. Thanks for the motivation.
I once met an individual who so profess poverty to himself. He believes he won’t make it because his parents are poor. I had to act as a mentor to get rid of such belief. It took time though, but now am happy to say that he runs his own boutique now. A self made man.
The social media is the number 1 killer of self esteem. Most of our youth have really low self esteem because of the wanna be mentality. They want to be like one celebrity out there and thereby live fake lives. I think they need this the more. Thanks
I think this piece is for me. I kind of have the fear of being corrected. Am always afraid I will do things wrong. Thanks for the motivation. I needed this