USING PUNISHMENT IN PARENTING.
To use punishment effectively, parents should use it less often. That’s because punishment often has unintended negative effects. One of these side effects is that, punishment often triggers STRONG NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL RESPONSES, including fear, anxiety, anger, and resentment. These emotional reactions can create a variety of problems, including hostility toward parents.
A second side effect is that heavy punishment can result in the general SUPPRESSION OF BEHAVIOUR. In other words, children who are strongly and frequently punished may become withdrawn and inhibited because they fear that any behaviour will be punished. Finally, harsh physical punishment often leads to an INCREASE IN AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR.. Children who are subjected to a lot of physical punishment tend to become more aggressive than the average youngster.
Despite the truckload of side effects associated with punishment, it does have a role to play in DISCIPLINARY EFFORTS. The following suggestions show how to make punishment effective while minimizing its negative side effects:
- Punishment should not damage the child’s self-esteem. Punishment should get across the message that , it is the behaviour that is undesirable not the child.
- Punishment should be swift. Delay in delivering punishment undermines its impact. A parent who says, “WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER ( or mother) GETS HOME …” is making a fundamental mistake. ( He or she is also demonizing the other parent). Quick punishment makes effective connection between it and the unwanted behaviour.
- Punishment should be consistent. If you want to eliminate an undesirable behaviour, you should punish it every time it occurs.
- Punishment should be explained . When children are punished, the reason for their punishment should be explained as fully as possible– it makes punishment more effective and fosters development of self-control in the children.
- Point out alternative , positive ways for the child to behave and reward such positive behaviour whenever the child exhibits it.
30 Comments
Shouting or enforcing rigid punishment on kids does not work on them anymore. Parents should find out what work and apply it. Let’s just be siplokatic about it so we don’t push our kids away.
Good talk.
PUNISHMENT DOES NOT KILL. OUR PARENTS USED IT ON US. I ONLY DON’T SUBSCRIBE TO INJURING A CHILD IN THE PROCESS. THANKS.
If only all school will follow suit on having a blog like this. Thanks DIC. Love this idea and your post is really benefiting me .
I think its better to sit our children down an have a chat with them. They don’t like when we the parents are angry at them for their wrong doing. This method works for me all the time
As long as it is not one that inflicts a bodily injury, am good with it.
We just have to be careful in the ind of punishment we dish out as parents.
Growing up our parents used corporal punishment on us, but that is unattainable in this age
The thing with punishment is that it should be used with caution
Awesome blog for a school. Keep it up
Nice post. Thanks for sharing
@Hatrick, you do that nowadays, the child is gonna ask you if you got dust in your eyes. Gone are those days. Few kids nowadays understand the language of eye contact.
I remember those days when my mother will use her eyes to flog the hell out of me. One look and you are shivering like an harmattan leaf. We understand what each look meant. That was enough punishment on its own.
I thin is a matter of choice, upbringing and culture for parents. That mostly determine how they dish out punishment to their kids.
Parents really need to learn from this. Teachers likewise
The writer is on point. Thanks for the post
You know some parents view any form of punishment as barbaric. They wont even allow them to be punished by anyone nor they the parents. If a child is not scolded or punished for wrong doing, I wonder how such will grow up in a society like ours. Just my thought anyway.
Punishment is part of a child training. It makes a child understand the difference between the things that are good and those that are bad. I agree that it should not be one that inflicts injury.
I think we should learn from the way the way school’s abroad punish students. We can really learn a great deal from them. At least we are copying their curriculum in this country.
Nice post.
@Dumebi..LOL. Over-punishment if there is such words only make the children’s heart head strong. I am a testimony to that.
I recall when I was still in secondary school and my parents will not allow me bring my friends home. I was always denied of my weekly allowance then. But it never deterred me from keeping my friends. I simply find an excuse of and extended class to play with my friends at school and got home late, why still getting my usual weekly allowance. Killing a two birds with a stone
Nice job. Good talk. Thumbs up
This should be discussed during your PTA meetings. More parents/ guardians need to be conversant with this.
You are making real sense here. Can we have a pdf of your school prospectus and link to download please.
Always on point. Thanks for the post
For me I think corporal punishment should be abolished, but mild punishment that does not damage the child’s self-esteem can be used. Or else we will be raising spoilt children who won’t know their left from their right.
@Rhoda, I believe such children are already used to such medium. If the parents have used effective parenting tactics, they won’t have to use punishment to make a crooked child straight. My opinion nonetheless.
There are children that wont take correction unless you punish them.
Punishing on students is child abuse. Schools should be aware of this.